I have really loved being a blogger for the past nine
months. I have even tried to stay up on it when I was
off on vacations.
This past week I was out of town and I posted on
Monday night. When I went to open on Tuesday
morning I could not find my dashboard and I was told
that my blog had been removed! I immediately started
getting texts and emails asking if I had stopped blogging.
If you haven't had this happen to you, you don't know
how awful it makes you feel. I had no idea what to
do or where to turn. In my limited knowledge I
"googled" the issue and sent out a query. I was just
sick to my stomach, wishing I had turned all of my work
into a book. I sent Joni (my sister at Red Couch Recipes)
messages asking if she knew anything. She didn't have any
You feel like you have been kicked in the stomach. You
feel like you have had the rug ripped out from under you, but
there was nothing I could do. I had friends trying to open my
blog to see if it was just a problem with my computer, but they
were getting the same result.
Fortunately later that day, I tried again and it was back,
no explanations, no nothing. It makes one feel insecure
investing more time in this experience we call blogging.
I backed off for a week.
It made me think of my sister Jean and her family who have
invested 17 1/2 years of their lives in their son Kevin.
Kevin passed away about a week and a half
ago. He had been born 11 weeks early and developed
cerebral palsy from complications in NICU. Kevin never
could speak or sit, or crawl, but he could smile and he could
smack his lips to let you know he loved you. One day
without much notice, after he had experienced symptoms
that shut down his lungs he was gone too.
As badly as I felt about my blog being "removed", I kept
thinking how my sister's family must be feeling. I would make
comments to friends about my blog, saying, "When I used to be
a blogger...". I am sure they are doing the same type of thing -
thinking about Kevin, referring to him, struggling with even
the thought that he is gone.
Life is so fragile.
There are comings and goings. I am
so grateful for the peace the Gospel of Jesus Christ
brings, that Kevin is not just "removed" but he is whole
and well and able to run and not be weary and walk and
not faint. He is able to communicate now. How wonderful
it will be to see him someday when I too have moved on.
So, despite fears that my blog might disappear again, I am back
(admittedly with some trepidation for the future). I know
that my little blog doesn't in any way compare to Kevin's
precious life, but somehow it gave me a bit of a feeling of
what it is to lose something/someone that we love.